And I Passed Out Too.

27.04.2007.
10:00pm – 4:00am.
decanter, hartamas.

to the end of diploma!

amresh is the hamsaplou of lime magazine.
and yin mei was supposed to be our bully victim.

leon cannot drink!

the waterfish isnt supposed to drink! he started with soya bean, then coke, then lots of tiger.

the sober hunk and the game master.

i told you the lousy fella cannot drink.
and failing your kindergarten maths 6 times make you a passed out rachel. :P :P

those who werent supposed to collapse collapsed.
what happened to the original plan!!! \&*$#@*&

C’est La Vie

i’m early today… it’s 5.24 in the morning. i woke up 20 minutes ago, removing my contact lenses that were starting to hurt and took a nice quick shower.
i’m feeling very nauseousy. my head is heavy and i’m anxiously waiting for the remaining 7% of maple story to complete before i get to install and play.

i’ve been rather dead for the past few days. like i was waking up for the sake of it and moving along with everyone else. i feel a need to slow down and think, but everytime that happens, my footsteps get bigger, faster, and even faster.
i need to think what really happened, why it happened, and understand that it is just another phase of life i have to get through and done with.

i guess that’s how life works you know. there’s always a period of time when life carries you up and make you feel like the luckiest and happiest person around… then it intentionally let its hand go and drop you to the ground, painfully. it’s like this vicious circle that goes on and on and on and on and on until you learn the real meaning of life (but you didn’t really think that it would happen, did you?) so you are supposed to make the best out of it, knowing what ointment suits you best to help you recover.

i was climbing at camp 5 today. after my 4th wall, i sat down at the castle wall area alone while the others went to the boulder cave. looking at those tiny rocks reminded me of the different obstacles we go through in life. i just have to keep climbing until i reach the top, to god. and that’s how really amazing god is… to speak to you through the colourful animal-shaped stones screwed to the walls. :) :)

tonight i walked the mall alone, bought a new belly ring and some pretty accessories, and pampered myself to french manicure and pedicure. girls, i know!! :P
then i left one utama after jam hours and headed to cell group and kept myself occupied.

3 days left before i bid college life a long goodbye. it’s starting to get into me about how it’s really, really ending and i’m going to miss everything that happened in the two and the half years of my diploma study.
ah, c’est la vie.

Hanging On A Monkey Bar

i’m so emotionally and physically drained. if i were given a choice, i’d break down and cry, but i cannot afford to… not now.
i need a computer, a handphone, a shoulder, a listener, a helper, and a someone who’s willing to hold my hand and walk this through with me.

i finally fell sick yesterday night. no one was home. those that were, were already asleep. i was struggling so hard to breathe properly; practically dying. later at night kuan may and wai sum brought me dinner and some really bitter tea. suddenly i just wanna give god a big hug for blessing me with true friends that would go that extra miles for me.

my final event is this saturday already. there are so many things to do, yet so little time left. i need a computer to update the campaign website but college’s computers blocked blogger.com., and the only time for me to work on my publicity materials are after 3pm when all computer classes end, which is impossible because i have to collect stuff from my event’s sponsors. :(

my computer crashed. it was really just a very minor problem at the beginning, but turns out that my graphic card is spoilt and my motherboard isnt functioning well anymore. to add on, my computer became chinese literate. everything i type comes out chinese. heck, i don’t even know if those were chinese characters. i have to change the setting each time i open a new internet explorer. the frustration kinda got into me and i’m really near to hitting the cpu and scream and break down. and cry all night long. and then go to the loft and release all my stress.

and i’m starting to believe the saying that goes – bad things come in bulk. my handphone’s down as well. basically in every 10 calls i make or receive, i experience voice breaking in 9 of them. no, not the reception. no, not the sim card either. and i’ve not allocate any extra money for a new handphone.

i don’t know. i have so many things to do now and i’m falling. like i’m hanging on the monkey bar, straining every possible nerve to hang on there and using every single bit of strength i have left to move on to the next bar until i reach the end.

i think i should just go get a lollipop, or an ice-cream.
… no. i think i want a tiger beer. :(

Yes, I’m Still Alive.

i’m sorry i left this blog unattended to. for the past weeks, my life has been filled with countless of dramas and work to complete. i still am really busy and stressed up over many things, but this is probably the only time i want to blog about them.

i lost someone dear to me on easter morning. the news came so quickly and everyone was very busy with the funeral. it was so sudden it didnt really hit me until a few days later, after the cremation. i wasn’t close to my grandaunt… we spent very little time together, but that didn’t stop her from loving me for who i am, unconditionally. i’m starting to miss her very much and i wish so badly i could rewind time to just have a nice breakfast with her at a quaint coffee shop on a saturday morning.

i’m graduating next month. this is the time when everyone goes “wah… so fast la! time flies hor!”. i guess time really flies, eh. like it was just yesterday i bought my kukumalu notebook from kinokuniya for my first semester in college, and tomorrow’s going to be the last day of my seventh semester. so in just less than 30 days, i’m a diploma in communication graduate. quite excited, quite lost too!

i have been planning for my degree since a year ago. but everytime i decide on something, other things come about and i have to decide all over again. now it feels like – i’m graduating in a month’s time and and, what to do what to do what to do? there are so much decisions to make that i often find myself crying with over 30 prospectus of different universities lying around me. what course? where? the fee? the scholarships? the duration? credit transfer? the essays? what do i really want? too many questions. too many opinions. too many suggestions. too many options. it’s as though i’m standing there, right there, all alone, with lots of split roads ahead of me and i dont know which leads me to the road i want to end up at.

life hold too much uncertainties, isnt it? i’m exhausted with life actually. tired of crying. tired of talking. tired of explaining. tired of working. tired of fighting. tired of defending. tired of standing. but that’s about it. you still pick yourself up after a good night’s sleep and move on with life the morning after.

i’m going to get my good night’s sleep now.