Stressed Out.

i’m sitting for my final exam this friday. two papers. introduction to economics in the morning, moral studies in the afternoon. my last paper will mean i’ve completed my two and the half years diploma studies, as well as draw a full stop to my student life in taylor’s university college.

i’m very stressed out. it’s so bad that my eating and sleeping cycle has been in such a big mess. and my period is here. it has never hurt this much before. i cant even sit on the toilet bowl nicely because it just stings and pull my nerves every minute or so… like how i pull my puppy’s chain when he refuses to move.

i have an essay to write. it’s an entrance essay to the university i’m applying for at the states. i’m supposed to write about myself, or i can write about my personal strength and weakness, how i turn my weakness into my strength, and succeed in life. you know how these essay topics sound all so familiar like those we used to write back then in primary or lower secondary? it’s actually scary that i’ve took months to write a decent essay but failed to complete even a paragraph.

really, sometimes when you look at it you’d think it’s just really an essay. something with an introduction, a few body paragraphs, and a conclusion. i dont know why is it even hard to start off with. hi, my name is su ann and i’m turning 20 in approximately 104 days time. my family consist of my parents, my elder brother, my little puppy and me. i love reading alot but i’m so occupied by the computer and the black square box outside. they call it a tv.

i want to write a good essay like how i used to. those beautiful poetries that i used to send kingsley on midnights, and those essay i used to mail to my cousin in singapore because he loves reading my work. it’s not as easy you know. it’s not like “come on, it’s just an essay la. get over and done with it man!” it’s like how i’m telling a 12 year-old that she should kill herself if she doesn’t score straight As for upsr because it’s a piece of cake, and telling a 15 year-old that pmr is a piece of shit so she doesnt have to give a damn.

i need lots of help on my economics. i’d give everything to turn my mum into an econs’ teacher than an accounts’ teacher. so she could instill all that demandsupplyelasticityequilibriumopportunitycostmarketstructureofmonopoly knowledge in me in the mere two days i have left… and let me work the miracles like spm. :(

everyone, you owe me a big party after i conquer my sufferings. and i want to climb the sentinal wall again to feel like i’ve owned the whole world. and have a nice dinner with my daddy dearest again. and start reading a good book. and go to westin for buffet. and work at mont kiara international school. :( :(