Stressed Out.

i’m sitting for my final exam this friday. two papers. introduction to economics in the morning, moral studies in the afternoon. my last paper will mean i’ve completed my two and the half years diploma studies, as well as draw a full stop to my student life in taylor’s university college.

i’m very stressed out. it’s so bad that my eating and sleeping cycle has been in such a big mess. and my period is here. it has never hurt this much before. i cant even sit on the toilet bowl nicely because it just stings and pull my nerves every minute or so… like how i pull my puppy’s chain when he refuses to move.

i have an essay to write. it’s an entrance essay to the university i’m applying for at the states. i’m supposed to write about myself, or i can write about my personal strength and weakness, how i turn my weakness into my strength, and succeed in life. you know how these essay topics sound all so familiar like those we used to write back then in primary or lower secondary? it’s actually scary that i’ve took months to write a decent essay but failed to complete even a paragraph.

really, sometimes when you look at it you’d think it’s just really an essay. something with an introduction, a few body paragraphs, and a conclusion. i dont know why is it even hard to start off with. hi, my name is su ann and i’m turning 20 in approximately 104 days time. my family consist of my parents, my elder brother, my little puppy and me. i love reading alot but i’m so occupied by the computer and the black square box outside. they call it a tv.

i want to write a good essay like how i used to. those beautiful poetries that i used to send kingsley on midnights, and those essay i used to mail to my cousin in singapore because he loves reading my work. it’s not as easy you know. it’s not like “come on, it’s just an essay la. get over and done with it man!” it’s like how i’m telling a 12 year-old that she should kill herself if she doesn’t score straight As for upsr because it’s a piece of cake, and telling a 15 year-old that pmr is a piece of shit so she doesnt have to give a damn.

i need lots of help on my economics. i’d give everything to turn my mum into an econs’ teacher than an accounts’ teacher. so she could instill all that demandsupplyelasticityequilibriumopportunitycostmarketstructureofmonopoly knowledge in me in the mere two days i have left… and let me work the miracles like spm. :(

everyone, you owe me a big party after i conquer my sufferings. and i want to climb the sentinal wall again to feel like i’ve owned the whole world. and have a nice dinner with my daddy dearest again. and start reading a good book. and go to westin for buffet. and work at mont kiara international school. :( :(


Girls’ Partieeee!!!

3:00pm – 5:00pm.
bijou, mont kiara.

happy birthday, sweetheart!

“happie birthday, natasha.” petite jordan said those words in the sweetest tone ever! :)

you know, kids can be the sweetest and cutest. but not when they’re wild with excitement at the playground. they are sooo rough and careless that keeping track on them makes you lose 2kgs.

baby jane is all grown up. she looks so elegant in her little scarlet gown. :)

baby natalie!
“what’s your name?” “nat nat.” :)
it’s like she knows magic. one minute she’s still playing the handphone, next she’s running wild on the playground, then in a blink of the eye, she’s behind you and she goes, “boo!”

my darling jan sen!
my nieces and nephews are growing up too fast! now he knows how to smile at me and tell me i’m pretty. (okay la i exaggerated a little bit. hehe.)

the little sweethearts are the sweetest that way. :)

the birthday cakes and little cuppacakes!
one for everyone!!

and the sweetest of all…
a candid of peak sen and jan sen.
“awww…” :) :) :)

The Randoms

my wisdom tooth is coming out. i’m panic because my braces are on. i wanna eat jalan alor’s chicken wings. and their lala and crab. the bag was shouting for me at forever 21, so i bought it. and so my credit card is busted for this month. but i really like it. like i was made for me. :) i got a new computer, figuratively. found a hundred ringgit in some hidden corner of my room few days back. i climbed the sentinel wall and it feels like heaven. i wanna play frisbee. i’m wishing for my period to come so i can bid the pms a goodbye. it’s natasha’s birthday at bijou. i’m not drinking alcohol anymore. the prayer of jabez is superbly amazing. i’m moving in my new house in september. found another hundred in my organizer. i’m rich this month. i should let the shopaholic me out for awhile, it’s been jailed too long. i took 7 hours and 23 minutes to write an essay about myself and i ended up writing a short story about the cockroach and the red ant. my interior designer is very convincing. i want to do something crazy. like jumping in the pool at 5 in the morning. the christian values my church preach are overrated. kay lynn’s having her birthday bash at camp 5. i want to read my harry potter collections all over again. my annoying puppy is the sweetest pie on earth. taking pictures of my 36 pairs of shoes to stick on the box so they can be easily picked out next time. i’m cutting my hair short. yung han is a lying waterfish. jansen and natalie are my cutest nephew and niece to date. i want to get my harness and climbing shoes from vancouver. sarah is coming back on september. she has a cousin who doesnt know how to shit. i’m tired of earrings. calvin ngai is the cutest darling. my swatch watch ran out of batteries. my mp3 player is spoilt. i’m getting an ipod. confidence makes a person glow. i’ll name my daugther charlotte. and my son jayden. i dont need to study for moral exam because i just need a few marks to get an A. moral says we’re all good beings but influenced by negative karma. cimb’s platinum card is nicer than maybank’s. i want to get an amethyst color contacts. i wanna eat baskin robbin’s icecream. i miss pang yee young. i want to try my puppy’s treats and biscuits. i swiped a total amount of rm450+ on my mph card today. tong hua doesn’t sound so tong hua anymore. i want to buy all the pretty sheets in aussino. camp’s gala theme is villain night. anyone has lex luthor’s botak wig? or i’ll borrow vincent’s clothes and go as him. i’m falling inlove with angels. jay chou’s ju hua tai makes me cry. the iron and iron board mum is buying cost her rm600++. i’m having my own attached bathroom in a few months time. the new wardrobe can fit all my clothes! my current cupboard is broken because it couldnt take the load. finally watched final destination 3 and yung han scare me to the max. god is good. smallville season 6 is out. i want to lose 10kgs. let’s go victoria station. i’m happy because i got all my msn emoticons back. i owe stephy 3 bottles of absolute vodka. i need to fly to bangkok. i will give everything for just a day in chatuchak market. i need to bathe and go to bed. good morning, it’s 6:20am. :)

The Unforgettable Affair

6:30pm – 12:30am
bond martini bar, avenue k

it was definately an affair not to miss.

the mr. romeo who failed to smile properly when the camera snapped.
stephanie, our true you ambassador. she sang angela zhang’s yi shi de mei hao and it was simply superb! ;)
natalya, my favourite secretary and stage manager.
juliana and michelle, the twins who grew up to beautiful ladies with me since semester 1!

more pretty girts! rehka, piggy, ragina, and li ping! :)
evon, my bank manager. there’s no equality because our money is her money; her money is her own money!!

zak and jenhan, my favourite standup comedians. you must love them to bits!!
my favourite cousin and climbing kaki, gin. :)
sabrina and grace, the two lovelies who survived the whole campaign with me, alive. i could have been the worse director without them!! *lots of huggles and kisses*

Yin Mei – my fav pic and of course, fav friend too, su ann chong said:
mayb someday we can b lesbo partners
su ann said:
at this rate we’re going… can lah!! :P

The First Of May

first of may marks the kick-off of my diet plan.
i dont have a plan to start of with actually. just… bits and pieces of here and there from everywhere. i don’t know if mixing them together would work… but you could help by saying something supportive, than to spit discouraging words and throw me mean laughs.

i had chillis last week with the 2 best friends to celebrate the end of our diploma study.
no more chillis for me now. :(
how to survive tuesday nights without monterey chicken or mashed potatoes or buffalo wings you tell me. :( :( :(

i also had one of the best sinful dinner in mungo jerry before i face prison!

so if my diet works…
i’ll tell you the before-after weights. and you shall spend me chillis’ triple play. dome’s potato wedges. saisaki’s buffet. mungo jerry’s fried pork. madam kuan’s nasi lemak. pizza uno’s cabonara. zipangu’s japanese buffet. kfc’s original fried chicken. shangri-la’s buffet. inagiku’s shabu-shabu beef. teratai mamak’s charkueyteow. and jalan alor’s chicken wings!!!!!

i’m so hungry now… and it’s only 5 hours and 54 minutes of the first of may. :(

And I Passed Out Too.

10:00pm – 4:00am.
decanter, hartamas.

to the end of diploma!

amresh is the hamsaplou of lime magazine.
and yin mei was supposed to be our bully victim.

leon cannot drink!

the waterfish isnt supposed to drink! he started with soya bean, then coke, then lots of tiger.

the sober hunk and the game master.

i told you the lousy fella cannot drink.
and failing your kindergarten maths 6 times make you a passed out rachel. :P :P

those who werent supposed to collapse collapsed.
what happened to the original plan!!! \&*$#@*&

C’est La Vie

i’m early today… it’s 5.24 in the morning. i woke up 20 minutes ago, removing my contact lenses that were starting to hurt and took a nice quick shower.
i’m feeling very nauseousy. my head is heavy and i’m anxiously waiting for the remaining 7% of maple story to complete before i get to install and play.

i’ve been rather dead for the past few days. like i was waking up for the sake of it and moving along with everyone else. i feel a need to slow down and think, but everytime that happens, my footsteps get bigger, faster, and even faster.
i need to think what really happened, why it happened, and understand that it is just another phase of life i have to get through and done with.

i guess that’s how life works you know. there’s always a period of time when life carries you up and make you feel like the luckiest and happiest person around… then it intentionally let its hand go and drop you to the ground, painfully. it’s like this vicious circle that goes on and on and on and on and on until you learn the real meaning of life (but you didn’t really think that it would happen, did you?) so you are supposed to make the best out of it, knowing what ointment suits you best to help you recover.

i was climbing at camp 5 today. after my 4th wall, i sat down at the castle wall area alone while the others went to the boulder cave. looking at those tiny rocks reminded me of the different obstacles we go through in life. i just have to keep climbing until i reach the top, to god. and that’s how really amazing god is… to speak to you through the colourful animal-shaped stones screwed to the walls. :) :)

tonight i walked the mall alone, bought a new belly ring and some pretty accessories, and pampered myself to french manicure and pedicure. girls, i know!! :P
then i left one utama after jam hours and headed to cell group and kept myself occupied.

3 days left before i bid college life a long goodbye. it’s starting to get into me about how it’s really, really ending and i’m going to miss everything that happened in the two and the half years of my diploma study.
ah, c’est la vie.